thisiswhyimbroke.com

If I was given one wish right now, I might wish for Jenna to sleep at night. I am desperate for it.

We are back in a cycle of night waking, crying, wanting to go downstairs, then walk over there….then over THERE… all the while pointing and crying relentlessly if I don’t comply. There is really NOTHING over THERE. She just doesn’t want to be HERE, wherever we are at the time.

I feel very close to that kind of tired that comes with having a newborn. The kind of tired that has you noticing the sunny day around you, yet not feeling the brightness penetrating the gray haze you are trapped in. The kind of tired that might contribute to falling asleep at the wheel and driving into a light pole on the way home from work. Ahem. Anyway….

It’s really…. Annoying.

I asked my husband the other day, “Can you imagine how much better life would be if we actually slept a night through? All the way through??”

I might have seen a tear in his eye…. and I think it was probably just too painful for him to contemplate. So he didn’t.

It’s not always this bad. Jenna has cycles of horrible sleep, followed by cycles of ok sleep. But no cycles of great sleep. Not yet.

I have been told we are at fault because we all share a room. Also, because I have held her too much. Also, that she is manipulative….VERY manipulative. The upside of this would be that she is also very intelligent.

I am going to say that I doubt all children who share rooms are bad sleepers. I also doubt I have spoiled her into this behavior. I also don’t believe she is manipulating me. She is not evil. Well, I am saying this now, but in a few hours I will absolutely agree that she is the most evil child in the world because I will be exhausted and she will be tossing and turning, wanting a drink of water, wanting to go potty, wanting to go downstairs, wanting to watch Paw Patrol on my computer, and then ONLY sleeping when she is lying directly on top of me, clinging like an octopus.

I have Googled the hell out of this phenomenon.

Learning about things like sleep regression, and “wonder leaps”… all good excuses for your kid to sleep like crap. Can’t blame it on teething anymore…she’s done.

I suppose it helps to know there are other parents with similar issues. I love the advice: Cry it out. DON’T cry it out! Hold them. Don’t hold them! Lock them in their own padded room. Let them sleep in your bed. Melatonin. Sleep therapy. Lobotomy. (just kidding, I made up that last one. Pretty sure no ones tried that yet)

lobotomy free!!

I am telling myself it will be so much better by age 3. Sammy was up a lot too until then. One more year.

(determined look on face, followed by huge yawn).