Death to all fruit flies

 

 

It’s that time of year again. I’ve gotten past the tiny black ant phase, and now we’re deep into the pesky fruit fly phase.

Swarming bastards of the fruit bowl……

So for your enjoyment, I offer my most effective method to murder as many fruit flies as possible with very little effort.

  1. Grab a jar, or any tallish container
  2. A plastic baggie
  3. tape
  4. apple cider vinegar

A. Pour vinegar to at least cover an inch of container, up to half of the container

B. Place baggie over top and poke a corner down into the jar after cutting that corner off the bag. You are making a funnel into the container. Ideally the open corner should end just above the fill line, and near the side of the container.

C. Then tape the bottom of the baggie around the container so nothing can escape.

I put out one trap last week….. and I lost track of the number of fruit flies I caught. It gives me great and kind of disturbing pleasure to find them caught…walking around the edges of the container looking for a way out…. so I can smash them and leave their little corpses frozen there, stuck for eternity in their plastic enclosed chamber of death.

Image result for fruit flies apple cider vinegarImage result for fruit flies applie cider vinegar

You get the idea…

Go forth people, let’s make our kitchens great again!

😉

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t be nice, it’s scary

 

 

I’ve been going to this dentist for a while now, I found the office on Angie’s list years ago when I was searching for someone I could feel comfortable with….I hate the dentist and I hate sitting in the dentists chair. Those shiny little metal hooks, all those instruments lined up ready to gouge me when I least expect it….. It’s terrifying.

So when I started going to this office for my cleanings, I was happy to find that the dentist and all his staff are incredibly gentle and nice. They make sure I’m comfortable, explain everything they are going to do before they do it, and give me time to deal with my fear of having them poking around in my mouth.

But, I think I’m going to quit. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now…. something about that office bothers me.

They are very nice. Actually, TOO nice…..

 

 

There is something twilight zone-ish about walking in and having everyone, EVERYONE ask me about a vacation I took months ago, after my last visit. It’s not just “Oh hey, didn’t you say you were going on a trip, how was it?”

No…. it’s “Oh, how was Disney with the kids? You were going to stay at the Dolphin hotel, right? I heard it rained that weekend, 4 months ago…. cause I was just at home thinking about you guys on your vacation and decided to track the weather the whole time you were in Florida so we’d have something to talk about when you came in for your next cleaning…”

And it’s the whole office. They ALL know. It freaks me out.

Obviously they take note of what we talk about,  so the patient feels like they are important and cared about….  I should be thrilled that I’m treated so well, that they try so hard to make me feel like what I say to them really matters, as I chat around the pair of hands stuffed in my mouth…

This happens every visit. I walk in and it’s like these people are my best friends. But not my real, genuine best friends. It feels too Stepfordy. Too perfect. Something is wrong. NO ONE is that nice all the time.

On the one hand I really want to know how to get my own staff to this level of polite perfection, I would love them to answer the phone by telling everyone what a great day they’re having!  On the other hand, I feel if I dig too deep, ask too many questions, they might lock me in a back room never to be seen again. It’s how my mind works. You’re treating me too well, what are you hiding???

Another Kidpik review

Since parting ways with my own styling service, I’ve had so much more fun waiting for Jenna’s boxes to be delivered. It helps that it’s only a seasonal thing-we can’t get bored very fast, and also that her entire box costs about the same as one piece of clothing from mine.

And the cuteness of it.

I’m not a lover of trying on clothes at all, but just for myself. I LOVE trying clothes on her, and thankfully she’s like minded. When we saw that box in the driveway yesterday, we both squealed🙂

And so without further ado….I give you….(drum roll)

Another KIDPIK review!!!

She jumped for the glitter shirt right away, and paired it with the softest and most comfy skinny jeans ever. Now that we’re in school, all pants must pass the “pull down and up” test for bathroom success…. happy to say these elastic waist pants made the cut. Glitter shoes were also put on immediately as she recited where she would be sporting them.

 

She likes the “workout” appeal

 

I wasn’t crazy about the multi-colored sleeveless top, but it’s sparking joy for her

 

“I look like a teenager”

She’s already planning her outfit for school (sparkly top, skinny jeans, glitter shoes). All pants pass the bathroom test, so it looks like we’re keeping everything.

 

soft rhinestone bracelet with snap closure is part of her wardrobe

shameless bead advertising is a bonus gift, I think she likes this one more

 

grand total, with 30% discount for keeping all items, $64.05.

 

This is our second box, check out her first box here..  Still love the fact that there is no styling fee, none!  If I give it all back, we are out nothing. All the clothes are comfy and easy to get on and off, also versatile so we can mix and match. And the cost…. most items are $12-$14, that’s pretty cheap compared to stores around us.

She gets a bonus little gift (bracelet this box) as well as coloring pages as well. The shoes came in a soft bag with strings that she wants to wear on her back for some important reason she hasn’t yet thought of….

I really, really like this service.  Every season is perfect for us to get boxes, although we can get them more or less often if we want.

A win-win!

And no, I have not been contacted by Kidpik to review their boxes or given any compensation for this very flattering review…. we just like it that much🙂

 

 

 

 

 

Lets do it the hard way!

Image result for elctronic health record

Today was training, our group is changing EHR systems, that’s electronic health records for any of you lucky enough to not know…..

So the whole point of this is to save time, improve documentation, make things BETTER. Save paper, because everything is available electronically, right?…..right??!!

In a perfect world, this would make sense. In the most controlled of situations, it works. But it definitely doesn’t save time……. in fact most offices I know have hired more staff  just to help navigating and completing the charting now. We spend more time charting than with our patients….not by our choice.

There is still paper. Paper all over, paper to be scanned INTO the records…. paper kept in paper charts because our silly EHR system likes to freeze, or shut down a lot…. And funny enough, paper to be printed and given to patients each time they come if you want Medicare to like you.

So…. an example for you, to help understand the very special misery only using an EHR can provide……

Let’s use the example of getting dressed in the morning.

Used to be simple…. underwear items, outer layers, socks, shoes, coat….. whatever embellishments you liked, and done.

Now, you need to choose underwear that Medicare will recognize and give you credit for wearing, and so you have to get the fancy ones that you don’t wear very much and then you can only put them on if  you are facing east, and step into them with your right leg, followed by your left. You can’t sit down, and you can’t fall over or you lose 5% of  your reimbursement.

Your pants and shirt must be in the same color family, they can’t clash, and your shirt can’t be a shirt that too many people have or else you won’t get credit for wearing it unless you do something like rip a big hole in it, so it’s different enough but still the same shirt.

You have to ask your socks about their history, and their family history, and if they smoke, and if they feel depressed every time you put them on. Especially the smoking and depressed thing.

You have to chant a few nonsenses words, and do ten toe touches then turn around three times after each article of clothing….. and then you have to teach your shoes how to tie themselves, because otherwise you are just enabling them every time you tie the damn things.

A very loose example….. but the frustration would be the same…..

Apples, Hay, and Tacos

My plans for a playdate are not usually very exciting, so I have my friend to thank for the idea of taking the kids somewhere new today.

I may have been apple picking as a child…. I have vague memories of paper bags and apples on the ground…but no sense of whether I enjoyed it or not. Today I got to try it with the kids at Hillcrest Orchards.

It was a perfect day, sunny and in the low 70’s, and the place was big enough to accommodate everyone without seeming crowded.

Of course there is the requisite hay maze……

As well as the farm-themed cut out boards for the kids to pose as animals, farmers, or pumpkins…..

We finally headed off to the orchard to put the kids to work, getting there on a rickety tractor pulled wagon of course.

We picked honey crisp today, and at first I thought the rows of trees were just baby saplings. I was shocked to see them bearing fruit, an amazing amount compared to their tiny size. Super sweet, we were allowed to eat them right off the trees. Bonus that the kids found that irresistible. Jenna was shocked to find seeds in the middle of her apple….because she has only ever eaten her apples sliced on a plate before. Eating food from it’s original source, off the tree in this case, instead of from the fruit bowl seemed to stimulate their appetites. I wonder what she would do if I pointed at a chicken and told her that’s where her chicken tenders come from??

There were more things for the kids to do, like a track for go cart type bikes. I can’t show you a picture because I spent my time there pushing Sammy on his, or riding Jenna on the back of mine. GREAT workout, but not fond of the unattractive panting after I was finished.

 

More acceptable ride that doesn’t require mom to exert herself…

 

Didn’t mean for this to be freaky…but reminds me of “The Ring” and if she had started crawling on the ceiling I would have left her there…

 

And the day would not be complete without dried corn stuck in everyone’s pants

 

And finally. The best part. The grand finale of my trip. The reason I will definitely more than consider going back……..

Before we left we wanted snacks. There was a little eatery inside with cider, water, apple cinnamon donuts and cookies.  There was a food truck outside, with a menu posted on it’s side.

I was amazed at the selection of food…. and please, please forgive me for not having a picture of the actual menu. I can recite a couple things by heart…. such as the all beef hot dog in toasted pretzel bun, complimented by apple chutney and cheddar cheese….. or how about the rosemary parmesan fries, complete with garlic aioli dipping sauce? Or my personal favorite….. drum roll please….. butternut squash and black bean tacos. Oh my god. I’m so glad I ordered them, because they were amazing. Not what I expected from a food truck at this farm out in the boonies.

I did not take photos of my food because 1. I didn’t want to look weird and 2. I ate it way too fast. But I checked Pinterest and found something close to just give you a tiny idea….

fries

Trust me when I say the tacos and fries I ate today were so much better looking and tasting than these examples, but you’ll have to trust me unless you check out Hillcrest Orchards yourself.

 

 

 

Important friendship criteria

 

 

My friendship criteria….were I to actually  have time to cultivate a friendship…..

  1. Must be funny, but not the annoying funny that just laughs at everything. The kind of funny that can be light and dark, funny ha-ha, and funny “god my life is depressing”.
  2. Must not judge my parenting. Unless I ask. And then always follow up judgement with a story about how they are even a worse parent than me because….etc..
  3. Must be able to keep the secrets I tell them, that are secrets I’ve promised others not to tell. The buck must stop somewhere after all.
  4. Must not be evil or possessed by any sort of demon, this is kind of a deal breaker.
  5. Sarcasm is required

There are more things of course, intelligence and wit, integrity-but not too much, don’t want me to feel bad about myself…… kind of difficult to find someone with all these requirements, probably just easier to continue hanging out with the kids……

What made me start to think of what qualities a new friend of mine would need to have? A conversation with Jenna about a boy at school she’s chosen as her friend. I don’t know if he shares the sentiment, but every day I hear his name.

What made her choose him, out of 13 other kids whose names she’s not in the hurry to remember?

Jenna’s friendship criteria:

  1. Must have a Blaze and the monster machines lunch box.

A simple and effective method to weed out those not worthy……

 

 

Dinner observations

Image result for restaurants with screaming kids

I took the kids to dinner the other night, only because Sammy had it in his head that we should go and I liked the idea of not making dinner. Besides, we needed a break at the end of a loooooong week of school.

He picks Cheesecake factory, and we are seated outside. The tables are so close together, you can’t avoid sitting in the middle of the conversations around you.

On my left, is a family of 5. Two parents and three children, all seem to be under 5. They are loud, kids take turns screaming, actual screams…. and the parents both speak a mixture of English and Italian to them. I like the sound of the Italian, but not when the mom is speaking in a constant yell, right into my ear.

Jenna likes to watch other people, she’s still too young to realize it’s rude. And knowing her, she probably wouldn’t care. I keep directing her attention to our own table, but the noise and activity next to us are hard to ignore. First she comments that one of the boys goes to her school. I don’t look over, but I sense the mom turning her head toward us as though she knows they are being mentioned. Jenna says later that one of the boys is looking at her, as she continues to stare at him. I feel eyes on us again, and lightly tell her to just look at me then.

She continues to watch the progress of the family, parents attempting to stop the screaming and fighting of their kids and not doing a great job of it. During a lull in the noise, she comments to me “Yeah, I like the dad better than the kids”… Since the mom is practically in my lap, I am sure she hears it. The head turning toward us confirms it. I think I tell  Jen to eat her dinner and keep her eyes on her food.

But she’s so right. He was definitely the quietest…..