Tricky Dentist

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image: modernsmilecenter.com

I took the 9 year old to have 2 teeth removed today. His mouth is so overcrowded and the orthodontist is doing some hardscaping in there so the canines had to go.

He was really worried in the days leading up to the appointment. Yesterday, I referred to his appointment as “dental surgery” while on the phone with someone…. and “the procedure” when talking to someone else.

“Why do you have to make it sound so much scarier! Why don’t you just say my teeth are getting pulled out!”

“The extraction?” I asked.

“Oh my gosh!!!” He was the picture of nervous exasperation.

Of course, I was nervous too. I didn’t want him to be in pain, wondered if he would need stitches. Could he eat solid food right away? How much bleeding would there be? How sore would he be?

But I played it cool.

Until we got into the room. He sat in the dental chair, and I sat far away in the chair in a corner. I watched his hands clenched into fists, white knuckled. So I came over and sat near his legs on his chair. I couldn’t stand being far from him.

I wondered if I could stay for the procedure…. and I fully intended to. How could I leave him?

The dental staff came in, ready to get to work. The dentist was great with my son, smiling, lighthearted, and reassuring. He told him, no, he told US, that mom (me) would be with him the whole time. The WHOLE time!

So they put the gas on, and his eyes get heavier and heavier. And I’m there with him and I’m ready to stay so I can make sure he’s ok, and because the dentist TOLD us I’d be there and there is NO WAY he would lie to us.

So the kid falls asleep. Dentist looks over at me, still smiling. And says, “Ok mom, you can go to the waiting room now, we’ll get you when he’s done.

“But…. you really didn’t mean I could stay??”

He’s still smiling….and shaking his head. No way lady, get the hell out of here so you don’t see us ripping teeth out of your kids head.

I mean, he didn’t say that… but I’m sure that’s what he meant when he just repeated that I could just hang out in the waiting room.

So I left. Feeling like I failed to keep my promise to stay with him. Praying he’d be fine and that he wouldn’t realize I wasn’t there.

And I didn’t get to go back when he woke up. A very nice nurse type person came to tell me that he was up, picking out a toy, and he’d be just a few more minutes and why don’t I get the car and pull it around to pick him up at the exit?

They were so good at handling me…. they had a system, a very efficient system that ran so smoothly, as long as no parents got involved to mess it up I think.

I walked so quickly to get my car, pulling around with the urgent sense to just get there so I could SEE him finally! I got there, parked…and got out to go in if necessary because I just really, really wanted to see my kid.

And he was ok. They wheeled him out and told me he threw up when he woke up, pretty common from the gas was what I was told. Gave him a little blue puke bag to carry on the way home. Left him with me to buckle him in. I buckled him. kissed him. touched his cheek. looked at him. He was fine.

But he did ask me why I wasn’t there when he woke up. He didn’t seem bothered, but he did notice. And I said in a very casual way that I needed to go get the car so he didn’t have to walk far and they wanted it all ready so he didn’t have to wait. He didn’t need to know that it was physically uncomfortable for me to be separated from him for that time.

No I didn’t like that. But I understand it. I’m sure parents can be the worst to deal with… delaying things as we cry with our babies if they are scared or in pain…. possibly freaking out on the doctor if we think they’re being too rough…. or maybe getting sick ourselves seeing blood from teeth being yanked… I get it, really.

But still.


Think outside the box, inside the bathroom

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The other morning, I was braiding Jenna’s hair before school.

We’re facing the mirror together, and talking about lots of important things.

She starts: “Mom…… why does daddy always get to sleep in YOUR bed?”

Good question.

And I love that she just knows it’s MY bed, and her father is obviously  bordering on  rude for still occupying that space at night…..just ASSUMING he has the right….geez……

Also, she is looking to get him out so she can take that spot, but she’s subtle enough to not bring that up just yet.

So I say “Hmmmmmm, well I don’t know Jenna, where else would he sleep??”

She’s clearly thought this out, because she answers immediately, no hesitation.

“Well, why don’t we just get some blankets, and pillows, and make him a bed somewhere else? Like maybe in his bathroom?

Another great idea…. and it would make things a lot more convenient for him as well.

She did eventually offer to let him make a bed for himself in our room…and even said she’d help him build it.

Good compromise.

 

Identity theft

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I’m sitting on the floor as Jenna paces around me, trying to get the boys to come up from the basement.

She yells for them to come up, they ignore her.

Then she has a great idea.

She whispers to me, “I’m pretending I’m you….”

Yells again:

“I’m momma!!, Come upstairs!”

Big smile on her face, this is definitely going to work.

Looks at me, leans over and whispers again:

“Don’t worry….you’re still you….”

Whew!

Over my head over here

 

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Looks are deceiving

 

I find the kids really annoying today.  It’s true. Kids ARE annoying.

Usually we all manage to put up with each other, as I’m sure I might possibly annoy them too.

But today…..

It has been a day of them egging each other on, teasing and poking each other, being loud and obnoxious in public….. Today they are the kids that people who don’t have kids see, and then think to themselves “I’m so glad I decided not to have kids”.

I think the last straw was in the hardware store. I just needed to get ONE THING. Well, two things.  A battery for the fire alarm that won’t stop chirping (also annoying) and some hardware to fix my towel rack.

As I walk with them, I stay between them so they can’t poke and tickle each other and try to keep their volume to a minimum. Jenna refuses to walk in a straight line, and at one point just collapses on the floor in a giggling heap. Pulling her up is impossible, she keeps her knees bent and won’t bear her own weight.

They find this hilarious. Me, not so much.

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My whispered threats of beatings once we are out of the public eye are not taken seriously, they know I’m bluffing.

They’ve reached that point of silliness that just doesn’t stop. We’ve all been there. The point where the laughter just doesn’t end, no matter what danger it may put them in.  They needed something to snap them out of it, a shock to the system.

Getting them buckled into their seats, I see the answer.

I had just bought them each a small box of valentine candy at the chocolate store. I glared at them, grabbed those boxes, and took them to the front seat with me.

I ignore their renewed attempts to annoy me. YES, they were now doing it on purpose! I open a box, and start eating it piece by piece, keeping my eyes ahead of me. Suddenly they aren’t laughing so hard.

“You can’t eat our candy!”

“Oh YES I can. I bought it. It’s MY candy.”

Seething from the back. From Jenna especially, you don’t mess with her chocolate.

To further illustrate how I am the boss of them, I pull into the Starbucks line. Order myself a tea and NO CAKE POPS.

I drive away and smile to myself as they sit, stunned, in the back.

Jenna is absolutely outraged.

She starts on a rant about how I don’t even love them because I took their candy and I’m not a good mom. Of course I have to return with how good kids listen to their parents and they weren’t being good for me.

“So, you don’t love us!” She’s not asking. She’s accusing.

“You don’t love us and maybe you don’t want to be our mom!”

I’m amused now, chocolate and tea has restored my humor. So I respond:

“I never said I don’t love you, are you saying you want a different mom?”

She doesn’t come out and say it, but she’s heading in that direction. I get a speech filled with 4  year old logic about how it’s physically impossible for a parent to actually love a child if they take candy from them. And maybe it’s time for us to part ways. Not that she doesn’t love me, but maybe we need a break. And besides, if I send her to a different house, they’ll probably have a dog.

I promised her there would not be a dog. She’s stuck with me, and her chocolate was delicious.

 

 

 

 

Caskets of gems….

Moenich World Coin Grab Bag - 50 Coin Assortment

So last night, it was a stay up late night for me and the husband with the two little ones. Sammy had been playing his kindle, and I let him….. and then I checked my email before heading to bed around midnight.

I find 29. TWENTY-NINE amazon digital receipts… for things like “pile of gems”, “bag of gems”, “casket of gems”, and coins, all sorts of coins and containers of coins. “Unlimited energy”….. how much were these things? I opened the first email. $20.00!!!!!!   second email. Another $20.00!!!!!  Oh, wait!!  $53.99!!!   Gems are expensive!!!  Lots and lots of expensive gems, and coins, to the tune of over SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS. REAL dollars…. charged to my Amazon account.

Needless to say, bad words were said. Hands went flying…. Daddy intervened, saving a life I’m sure. My hands shook as I called Amazon digital customer service, who thank GOD are open 24 hours a day it seems. And miraculously, the guy on the phone, Luke, fixed it for me.

First he laughed. And laughed pretty much throughout the call. I told him I didn’t realize the kid could purchase anything because I had parental controls set, no purchases without a password!

Apparently, since I gave him access to the games he was allowed to play, he can STILL purchase apps within the game. And extra lives, coins, gems, all that good stuff. In one hour, he spent a total of $691 and change. Why? Because he wants to be better than his friends at this game.

The game by the way, which doesn’t exist in our home anymore. Kindle is on lockdown forever. FOREVER.

I would like to say that he learned his lesson…

I KNOW that I learned mine.

 

 

We like nuts

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The 3 year old is going to be 4 in a matter of days. It’s pretty exciting, especially since each of the ninja turtles has called her personally-so she says-and they are in fierce competition with each other to get her the best gift. I can’t wait!

She’s growing up, uses the word “actually” a lot.

Like last week…. I picked the two youngest up from school and she is dying of starvation in the back seat. Begging to eat right now. NOW! So I decide to take them to a local place and eat with them, then bring dinner home for their dad.

As we get our food, I say to her “….and you were crying about being so hungry….”. she tell me, “actually, I wasn’t crying. I was whining.”

Touché.

She makes me laugh, and I’m enjoying it and also sad because this age is so awesome and goes so fast…… and she’s the last one, the last one!!!

Today though… takes the cake.

She’s reading, at the point where she can read simple sentences and is learning rules about letter sounds. She got how “SH” together make the sssshhhhh sound, and “TH” have their special sound. Today was a very special lesson about the importance of the silent “E” at the end of some words.

Her teacher sends some books home for her to read each week, I laughed at the title of one of them “We like nuts”. Of course, that’s just my mind in the gutter…..

She’s reading to me today, as I cook dinner. Sounding out her words like a champ. She gets to the nuts book….. opens and starts to read.

I hear “I lick nuts….”

!!???!!

We talked about the silent “E”.  How it makes the “I” have the long sound…. because we LIKE nuts….we just like them. that’s all.

 

 

 

It’s almost that time

Elf on the shelf…….

Last year we got sucked into the elf tradition, thanks to my well meaning mom. I learned quickly that it’s not a good idea for the elf to start spying too soon…..for some reason he came to us in October and we just went with it.

To preserve my sanity, I’ve made it clear to the kids that Moe-our elf-won’t be appearing until after Thanksgiving this year.

I got some great ideas last year from Pinterest boards, which I happily copied.

And sometimes I tried my hand at being creative….

I was supposed to have a month of great ideas by now. That was my homework for myself last year. So a couple weeks ago I got some elf accessories to take things to the next level. things like a leather jacket…. a few T-shirts…..and a bathrobe. Maybe we’ll invest in a reindeer for him to hang out with, or a Saint Bernard….

I need ideas, fast.