The life cycle of a preschool friendship

three guys

three guys

Sammy has a couple friends, made before he even knew what a friend was. The boys met during little gym classes, and it was one of those convenient friendships to cultivate because we-the moms-were also friends.

Time at the zoo, kiddie park, the splash pad at Crocker park, and plenty of birthday parties for themselves and siblings… these things have continued for the past couple years. We don’t see each other very often, but this friendship is a given. We are past the point of encouraging them to play together, they don’t need us for that anymore.

braving the inflatables together

braving the inflatables together

Well, the boys are getting older. They could be in Kindergarten next year…..

I see it looming on the horizon.

The transition between friends that mommy made for them….. and friends they will make for themselves. With kids they see all the time at school, and probably live closer to as well.

I thought about it today, at a birthday party where the boys were still all sitting together…. I wondered when this is going to end?

It makes me sad, because I know it probably will end. How many of us are friends with kids we met before the age of 3??

I’m not even friends with most people I met AFTER the age of three!!

I really like these boys. They are good kids, fun kids, and they play so well together.

in the beginning.....

in the beginning…..

They just aren’t old enough yet to maintain it, not on their own. And when they are older, it won’t be cool for mommy to bring them along to play with so-and-so just so she can see HIS mom…… they will want to hang out with little Michael next door, or Jimmy from school, not Sammy who they see every once in a while.

One day they won’t have time to remember each other, because they will be too busy discovering so many other things, so many other friends….. and this is how it goes, right??

Maybe I shouldn’t think about it. Wondering, is this the last time? The last birthday? The last train ride at the zoo?

Kind of like the way I imagine an aging couple might vaguely wonder “is this the last time?” with each further spaced moment of intimacy they share.

Surely I can’t be the only person who thinks about this stuff…

Well, for now I savor it. Sammy was so lucky to hook up with these guys, and I have enjoyed watching all of them grow and change. I hope if there is a transition away from each other, that it is painless for them, actually, I know it will be. They don’t know enough yet to understand the poignancy of an outgrown friendship. And by the time they are mature enough for this…they may not even remember each other.

Jesus, next I’ll be talking about puppies dying!…. someone slap me and get me some chocolate!

Ok, Ok…. I’m ok.

Let’s focus on the positive. Great kids. Great families. All things change, let’s just enjoy the ride.


hamming it up


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