Everything’s A-OK here…..

I was in the process of sleeping in this morning. I was dreaming. Braiding hair and something about a college cafeteria….and a funeral….. suddenly interrupted.

BRII-IIING,  BRI-IIIING!!!!!

I leap out of bed, assuming it’s a fax, already cursing it’s sender.

It’s not a fax. I answer the call from a local number that I don’t recognize. A woman, very awake and businesslike asks for me. Assuming it’s still somehow work related, and frantically trying to assure myself that it’s Saturday, I acknowledge that it’s me.

Then…a fast worded spiel starts…. I hear the words breast cancer research….fund raiser….. and it’s impossible for me to interrupt. It’s a RECORDING!!  I press some random buttons, the call stops. I hang up.

It’s 8:14am

Normally, I’m up for hours by now. But not on Saturday. Saturday it’s my goal to stay IN BED and wake up on my own, or more frequently by one of the kids wanting to go downstairs and start the day. For some reason, everyone was still sleeping, so this was a golden morning. I would have been happy to realize that when I woke up later…but  that dream was stolen from me.

Impotent with rage.

I can’t even unload my anger onto the shoulders of the person calling me, Daring to call that early on a weekend…because they’ve been so abused by people like me….normal people…. that they’ve turned to recorded messages that sound like they aren’t recordings. Until you try to interrupt.

No satisfaction of at least ruining someone else’s morning anymore.

I sound mean, right? But it’s a pavlovian response. We barely use the home phone. So when it rings, I know it’s usually a crap call… the sound brings on anger and frustration even before I look at the caller ID.

I checked out the guidelines today about telemarketing calling hours.

http://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0198-telemarketing-sales-rule

Calls are ok between 8am and 9pm, no mention of a break on weekends. And, even with my number on the do not call list, I can and will still receive calls from charities, political organizations, and surveys. Oh, and any organization I’ve had a relationship with can call for 18 months after my last purchase or delivery, even if I’m on the list. Any company I make a credit inquiry with…can call for 3 months.

Really frustrating to know this. Last presidential election, we were harassed with phone calls and recordings to the point that I swore to people I wouldn’t vote for their candidate because their incessant calls drove me to hate them.

I hate it. HATE IT.

One exception.

There is this cute sounding little lady who calls….for Purple Hearts. When she calls, the rage disappears, and I am ever so polite as she arranges for me to leave bags of clothes and household items at the front door. I just can’t be mean to her, maybe because she’s a real human.

Bottom line… my time at home is mine. I don’t like it wasted or interrupted. If I want to donate my money, or blood, or vote…I will figure out how to do it. Don’t call me. I hate you.