from the book: Potty, by Leslie Patricelli

Usually when I ask Sammy about school, he isn’t very forthcoming with his answers. Probably because my questions are boring and predictable.

What did you do today? Nothing. Did you have fun today? Yes. Did you learn anything new today? No.

When I’m not badgering him, he will sometimes just open up on his own and tell me all sorts of interesting things.

Like how his teachers might be Pee Nazi’s.

It started with him talking about nap time at school. He takes his naps seriously, and was complaining about some of the other kids who wanted to talk and play instead of napping, ruining the quiet time for everyone else. As he went on, he also brought up how rude one little girl is, for always wanting to use the potty at nap time. The teachers want her to wait until they all get up, so the girl cries.

This got my attention. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s not letting kids pee. I’ve blogged about this before.

I immediately speak up for the little girl. “Sammy, if she needs to pee, they should let her pee.”

He looks at me. Obviously he knows better.

“Mom, they want us to pee after nap. I pee after nap. If I have to pee before nap, I just hold it. We need to practice holding it.”

We go back and forth. Me explaining that sometimes you NEED to pee, and it doesn’t matter if you’re napping, or eating lunch, or playing. I’m trying to reassure him, that if he is in that situation, it’s OK to pee!

He thinks I’m stupid.

The way he responds to me… he’s being patient because he has come to the conclusion that poor mom just doesn’t get it.

We don’t pee the same way you did back in the day…… now we HOLD it. duh.

How do I complain about something that he seems to have no problem with?

“Um, yes…. my son apparently has no trouble waiting until after naptime to pee, even if he actually has to pee while he is laying there on his little cot….in fact, he seems to think I’m a little slow for not understanding that nap time is not PEE time…but can you please let that poor little girl pee??”

I still try to explain to him that no matter how impressive his bladder control might be….. sometimes you just need to go. Like now. And if he ever, EVER needs to pee, and he is told no….. he is still allowed to go, and mommy will talk to the teachers.

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe me, because he is well and truly brainwashed by the pee Nazi’s.