What I don’t want for Christmas

It’s been a while since I’ve been able to post on here, partly due to lack of time because of work, and kids, and stressful life happenings in general. Also partly because we just took a week off to spend in Vegas with the little ones and I had such a GREAT time that I actually forgot my best friend even existed until we got back. I felt a little guilty about that, but I was able to overcome it once I found that she is still alive and well.

So, on to very important things.

My oldest is asking me what I want for Christmas. She won’t leave it alone, so in an effort to help her out (a mothers job is never done….), I’ve given it some serious thought. I’ve come up with a list of what I don’t want. At least this will help her narrow things down.

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  1. Stuffed animals that fart. I actually don’t want any stuffed animals, but especially not ones that mimic bodily functions. Resist the urge, even for $12.95.

 

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2. Underpants for my hands. I’m good with the ones I’ve got, not on my hands.

 

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3. This monstrosity. I don’t want the sweater, or the baby that possibly comes with it. I know I’ve got lots of kids….but really, I’m good.

 

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4. Ok, actually might be funny if you could get it personalized with the ex’s face… all in good fun of course….

 

 

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5. Might be a cheaper option for me than laser lipo…but somehow I feel not as effective. Probably save your money.

 

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6. On the odd chance that someone might think to buy me a purse made from a dried frog corpse, let me just make it clear that I would not accept it EVER…..unless it had fully intact back legs.

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7. It’s cute, really. but people might not understand….
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8. No subtle references to me aging, ‘kay?
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9. I can see how someone might want to incorporate my love for cleaning, with my desire to work out more to come up with a “super gift”. I just think this might not be “the one”.
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10. Whaaaaat??
I think that pretty much covers it. Stay away from the above, and I’ll accept pretty much anything. Or nothing. Whatever.

 

 

Love Day

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Valentine’s day is coming up. The day to express our depth of sentiment with chocolate hearts, roses, pretty pink fluffy things.

I asked at Sammy’s school if he could pass out his valentine’s tomorrow, and was told the school doesn’t celebrate holidays, so the teacher had to ask first.

I thought about it all during the day yesterday, what if they say he can’t?? I already promised we would get valentine’s for his friends, we debated on writing just his name on the back vs writing the name of the friend and then also his name. What kind of candy or treat will we choose? Both of us giddy to have something fun to prepare for sharing with the class.

I remember Valentine’s day in school. We prepared an old shoe box with colored paper, heart cut outs, glitter and tape, turning it into a container to hold our cards. We all got up and passed out our cards and candy to our friends, then walked home eating goodies from school.

I remember the drama when one well intentioned boy wrote “I love you” on all of his cards, probably under direction of his mother…..and the class erupted in giggles and shrieks. Some of us were secretly pleased to have a real admirer, before we realized everyone got the same message.

No more valentine’s in school?

I felt bad for Sammy, and wondered how I’m going to break it to him?? I want him to have that experience, that bit of fun and feeling special. Already planning on what we can do instead of class valentine’s if he really isn’t allowed. And why are we seriously not allowed to celebrate anything anymore??

I hate that some people get offended about everything, causing schools to stop celebrating at all.

Chill out people. Go have some Dove chocolate.

All for naught…. I was later emailed that he is allowed to bring valentines.

I will save up my pre-formulated arguments for another time. Instead, we are headed to the drugstore after school today, to debate the finer points of sponge bob over teenage mutant ninja turtles and their respective messages of love.