Damn you, Starburst minis!!!!!
Your passively rounded edges and lack of wrapper have effectively made you appear both deliciously unassuming and appealing to the lazy eater.
But we all know what you’re doing….
I hate you, genius candy marketers.
A serious and sobering look into the mind of a mom who opened a 5# bag of candy….3 days before “the day”.
Walk into pantry. Time on my hands. Bag is just sitting there. I grab it…of course I open it. I play that game with myself where I pretend to have will power, and then get mad when I realize I don’t, not even a little. A mouthful of M&M’s is somewhat comforting though.
Day 1, later….
Why do I keep blindly reaching in and finding the Snickers? They are all going to be gone and everyone will know I ate them. But I agree, they really DO satisfy you!
17 year old calls me out for opening the bag. I pretend very convincingly that I had NO IDEA!! Was that bag opened at the seam when I bought it?! Can you believe that?? She does not buy it. I throw a candy bar at her, making her an accomplice so she will shut up.
Thank God I worked today, because the 15 mini Kit Kat bars I ate tonight could have easily been 50 if I’d had a whole day to work at it…. I think I now like Kit Kat better than Twix. Somehow, they seem more refreshing, and almost healthier.
Evening of Day 2.
Get here fast, Halloween!!! I hate myself and I hate my weakness! Thank goodness the weather is going to suck for trick or treating, because I know I would just end up eating all the candy the little ones collect to save them from obesity and diabetes…but who is going to save ME from this delicious bag of sin???
Still later that evening…
It’s amazing that I’m not sick to my stomach. I don’t want to know how many empty calories I’ve consumed. No point in working out ever again, I’m too far gone. Am I this weak??, Really??
Yes. Yes I am.