Category Archives: food

Oh, get here fast Halloween!!

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A serious and sobering look into the mind of a mom who opened a 5# bag of candy….3 days before “the day”.

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Day 1

Walk into pantry. Time on my hands. Bag is just sitting there. I grab it…of course I open it. I play that game with myself where I pretend to have will power, and then get mad when I realize I don’t, not even a little. A mouthful of M&M’s is somewhat comforting though.

Day 1, later….

Shit.

Why do I keep blindly reaching in and finding the Snickers? They are all going to be gone and everyone will know I ate them. But I agree, they really DO satisfy you!

Day 2

17 year old calls me out for opening the bag. I pretend very convincingly that I had NO IDEA!! Was that bag opened at the seam when I bought it?! Can you believe that??  She does not buy it. I throw a candy bar at her, making her an accomplice so she will shut up.

Thank God I worked today, because the 15 mini Kit Kat bars I ate tonight could have easily been 50 if I’d had a whole day to work at it…. I think I now like Kit Kat better than Twix. Somehow, they seem more refreshing, and almost healthier.

Evening of Day 2.

Get here fast, Halloween!!!  I hate myself and I hate my weakness! Thank goodness the weather is going to suck for trick or treating, because I know I would just end up eating all the candy the little ones collect to save them from obesity and diabetes…but who is going to save ME from this delicious bag of sin???

Still later that evening…

It’s amazing that I’m not sick to my stomach. I don’t want to know how many empty calories I’ve consumed. No point in working out ever again, I’m too far gone. Am I this weak??, Really??

Yes. Yes I am.

Drive Thru Phobia

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courtesy of: hautemealz.com

Sometimes I am out in the car, alone or with kid(s) and decide to drive through someplace for food.

I don’t do it often, and maybe that’s part of the reason I have such a hard time doing it.

My drive through experiences often end up with me frustrated, disappointed, anxious, and still hungry for…..something. Sometimes if there is another person in the car with me….we argue.

Why?

Well, it goes something like this:

A vague conversation about getting lunch…..or me thinking I should stop somewhere if I’m driving around for work and know I won’t get another chance to eat.

I pull into the drive through.

Sit behind several cars, not able to read the menu, not able to remember specific things I might like on the menu.

Get anxious because I don’t know what I want and I need to think of something……what was that chicken thing I liked that one time????

Squint, and try to read the menu from back here….impossible.

Ask people-if I’m not alone- what they want. If they are older than 4, this can be helpful, because they might actually know what they want. If they are under 4, they might ignore me completely, stare at me blankly, or tell me something not remotely close to what is offered at this place.

Get closer. Am I sweating?

Why don’t they make the menu bigger, so I can read it before I have to order?

Why can’t I think of ANYTHING????!!!

Shit. I’m next.

Do I want a baked potato? Salad? Fish sandwich?

I pull up to the speaker, stuck in the middle of a huge menu wall. Frantically trying to find something, anything that looks like I might want it.

via fontsinuse.com

via fontsinuse.com

TOO MANY CHOICES.

My brain shuts down.

Oh god, it’s been 14 seconds, I ask for a minute….. the person says yes…. but I know they are rolling their eyes, and probably muting their microphone as they tell their friends what the hell was this lady doing the whole time she was in line, she still doesn’t know what she wants….. and the cars are just sitting there, waiting behind me.

So I just order. Blindly and often stupidly. Things I don’t eat, things I won’t eat. Just to ease this panic welling up because everyone is just waiting for me to make up my damn mind! I feel very unsatisfied as I pull up to pay for the bag of things I don’t want. The girl at the window looks smug. I’m pretty sure she knows I just freaked out back there.

If there is anyone else in the car with me, we might argue about why I only ordered one milkshake, or some tiny thing off the dollar menu for two of us…. or how I embarrassed them by asking for a minute when everyone in the world knows you just DON’T ask for a minute at the drive thru and obviously I’m just not fit to be out here, driving around in society like this…

But usually this happens most when I have no one old enough to guide me through this awful experience and I am forced to rely on my own decision making abilities. Which are pretty bad to begin with, but add a little anxiety and they just go away….

As I pull away, I glance into the bag.

Right.

And look for anther place to try again.

 

 

 

Desperation and dangerous deliciousness

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I’m a snacker.

I love to have something sweet, especially when I’m up at night, enjoying my freedom from everyone else.

This is dangerous, because I no longer have the metabolism to support my shameless snacking. And I’ve developed a habit, a real habit for snacking on garbage.

So I went through all the cycles one must go through when confronting their snacking habit. I ignored it. I lied to myself about it. And to others, if they dared question where their mini snickers bar went. Really, why would  you even try to keep that where I could find it? I pretended if I just went back for ONE piece of candy, 50 times… that it was better than just grabbing the bag and eating all of it. Finally I admitted it. I had a problem.

So I thought I outsmarted my weak willed self, by not buying any candy! No snacks for me. No hidden licorice or jelly beans to grab. No chocolate covered anything. No mini chocolate donuts.

Sigh.

That lasted a couple days. And tonight I’m scavenging for something. Anything to feed this craving. No, I don’t WANT an apple, or a yogurt, or peanuts…. or any of the completely delicious and healthy things I force my kids to snack on every day.

No.

I want sugar, the kind that puts holes in your teeth. The kind that pulls out your fillings, sweet, chewy, delicious and bad for you. And I have NONE.

So on my 3rd round through the cabinets, looking for any morsel that may have been hidden too well from myself…. I find my fix. Delicious and gummy, coated in sugar. How did I not notice these before? And assorted fruit flavors! It might just work.

gummy

So happy to be vitamin D deficient right now. Don’t even talk to me about the dangers of overdose… I’m a medical professional, I’ve got this covered.

Hibachi Awkwardness

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It was a rare night of just me and my two girls, so we decided to go eat Hibachi somewhere.

We love the idea of someone cooking right in front of you,

we love the rice, the shrimp, the vegetables,

we LOVE the Yum Yum sauce…..

But we hate the awkwardness.

You know, the hibachi awkwardness that is bound to happen when you don’t have enough people in  your own party to fill up a table. Walking in there, just the three of us…. we didn’t have a chance. So we follow our hostess, past tables already full of people…. oh, maybe we’ll get lucky and there will be no one to sit with!  Nope, they found a table with about 6 people seated already, and placed us at the end.

There are plenty of reasons this feels weird to me. I felt we were already at a disadvantage, having less people in my party than the one already seated. So THEY are going to dominate the “table talk”.

Not that there is much talk between us…. because we all act like we can’t see or hear each other, at the same time totally seeing and hearing each other. I’ve seen it both ways, either the group you get seated with wants to introduce themselves, shake hands, etc…, or, more commonly…. eye contact is avoided at all cost. It’s acceptable to laugh when someone takes a piece of shrimp in the face instead of the mouth… but just a quick laugh, you can’t fully commit to it.

Bringing kids into the mix can really illustrate how awkward it can be….. because if your baby is being bad, or really good, doing something adorably cute, or falling flat on her face on the floor next to the table….. people WILL look, and sometimes laugh, comment to each other…. but at no point do they say these things to ME… so I never know how to respond, and end up doing what I do best, just pretending that I don’t hear them….because you know, I can’t see them….

Once, My husband and I took the 4 year old to eat Hibachi. I think before the toddler was born, so he was probably not yet 3.  We were seated, of course, next to another family. This one had a couple kids. They were not clued in yet about the whole “ignoring the people next to you” thing…  One took a liking to my husband, and proceeded to run and head butt him several times. His parents then had to acknowledge us, apologized, but could not stop their son from groping my husband with his very greasy hands. And then rubbing his face on him for some reason…. the whole time the parents are begging him to stop, the kid doesn’t want to stop, and hubby is all “Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s ok!”

This was funny to me, because anyone who knows my husband is aware that he is nothing if not polite. Ridiculously polite. Especially to strangers he doesn’t know. AND… he really goes CRAZY about his clothes getting food on them, and kids with dirty hands touching him. Or his clothes. So he sits there, smiles, laughs, Oh, that is so cute….how your son is putting his whole hand in his mouth….and then wiping it on my shirt… Oh, I love it! And as soon as we are out of the restaurant, he is almost shaking, desperate to get out of those clothes, and wash the spit off of him.

So it’s not the ideal situation…. eating at Hibachi. But we still do it, probably for the Yum Yum sauce more than anything. And the fire. And the little plastic guy who pees on the fire, if you’re lucky enough to have a chef with one of those on his cart…..

ebay.com. Weepy the wee wee

ebay.com. Weepy the wee wee

 

Meal ideas I don’t want to forget!

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I’ve been doing this mom thing for a while now, it should have sunk in that every day I need to feed those kids! 3 meals, and snacks too….

Some days I just seem to forget every delicious or healthy things I’ve ever made them….

I peer into the fridge, wonder how I’m going to put together something with brussel sprouts, sweet potato’s, and kale in a way that they would actually eat.

I’ve actually never been able to do that. If someone can do that, please let me know how….

I alternate between feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of produce I have, and the sudden urge to find a way to use all of it right NOW. And I have no plan, because I was too busy playing pee pee potty with the youngest all morning, or playing with my new vacuum, which is actually playing for me, because I love to vacuum. I know it’s my fault, because I didn’t plan ahead, and now the natives are restless (actually they are most likely going about their business, ignoring me, but as the clock ticks I am desperate to feed them before they vanish in a puff of smoke…)

Really though…. I KNOW I’ve made them good stuff. Sometimes they really like it. Why then do I forget, and feel like I don’t ever know what to make?

So I have this idea.

Maybe it’s stupid, but I’m doing it.

Because life can be so busy, and I work several days during the week leaving less time for me to stand in front of the fridge, scratching my head…..

I am photographing the meals we like. The meals I want to keep making, because they taste good and are healthier than bologna and French fries.

Then I am keeping them in a file labeled under each type of meal (breakfast, lunch….). On my computer, or even on my phone.

OH, I am SO SMART!!

I think this is going to change my life. No more panic as I drive home at 5pm, reviewing what I have fresh and frozen in the house. Yes, I absolutely COULD make a menu for the week, or month. It would be a great idea if I cooked ahead, and sometimes I do. BUT…most of the time I don’t. This will be my saving grace on those days, or at least it will give the kids a fighting chance to avoid prepackaged, processed meals.

Here is how I’m starting:

Today, I did not work. So I had the time to make a good breakfast for the kiddies. My goal is to get them to eat fruits and vegetables with every meal. I like things to be as fresh as possible, at least something on their plate is usually raw, or close to it.

I’m celebrating the fact the the baby is over her fever, and actually eating again. I made the kids a little omelet with cheese and smoked turkey from Trader Joe’s… I love it when the package says nitrite and preservative free. Some cut up pear, and  some home made banana chocolate chip muffin to round it out. ….and, Wa-La!  Breakfast is served!

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I’m not saying we don’t do the Rice Krispy thing…. but I do like to make an effort when I can.

Lunch. It comes in the middle of each day. I find lunch to be the least stressful meal. Sometimes I will throw a bunch of things on a plate and let them pick whatever they want. I feel like lunch is way less serious than dinner.

Lunch today was black bean and cheese quesadillas with fruit salad. I love quesadillas, you can hide pretty much anything inside of one. I grated up zucchini along with the shredded cheese and the kids never knew. I feel like super mom when I give them 2 or more veggies in a single meal.

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Pretty impressive huh? And no children were harmed during the taking of these photos. I promise, he really ate it voluntarily.

Now, dinner is the thorn in my side.  If I have an amazing idea, it will usually pop into my head about 5:30, and I will not have the 4 hours it will take to bring it to life and onto the table. So I get discouraged and may dip into my stash of Trader Joe’s frozen something or other, and serve it with fresh veggies to make me feel better about not making it from scratch.

I’ve made some pretty great things, but damned if I can remember what they are when I’m stressing about what to get onto the table in the next 30 minutes. That is where my photo/recipe file is going to be a huge help. So I started today with grilled fish.

Not everyone loves fish, but I tend to like serving it because I feel like it will make everyone smarter and won’t clog our arteries. There is the usual arsenal of fish sticks that we all grew up on, and I’ve got them, but I buy fresh a lot….and then get really really frustrated when I want to make it in a fresh and creative way that won’t scare the kids away from eating it, and have no idea how to do that.

So tonight I just kept it simple. I planned to make it with a mango-avocado salsa, but my 13 year old begged me not to. Instead, I melted some butter, squeezed some lemon into it and added a couple cloves of fresh garlic. I put the Cod fillets on foil, brushed them with the butter mix, and sprinkled some fresh parsley on top. Wrapped it up and grilled it. It only took about 10 minutes and they were probably done in 6, I just didn’t check that early. I did heat up some fried rice, and served it all with steamed green beans.food2food1

Now, the 4 year old did not eat this meal smiling. But he did eat it, most of it. I’m going to keep this meal idea, but probably not as one of my favorites. The fish was good, but not special in any way. I think we all like a little more flavor to it, so I’ll keep looking for other ideas. The baby loves fish, so this was a no brainer for her.

BONUS!!!! As I was searching for yummy marinade recipes for my own dinner (grilled veggies), I came across a recipe I had to try.

Grilled nectarines with butter and Feta cheese. You can find the original recipe here:

http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/grilled-nectarines-with-feta

Wow, it just so happens I had several nectarines on the verge of being too ripe.  I didn’t follow the recipe 100%, I just melted butter, brushed the top and bottom of the nectarine halves, stuffed them with feta cheese and stuck them on the grill on foil. I took them off after about 15 minutes.

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HEAVEN.

This is going into my recipe file under “amazingly awesome, fast, delicious, and perfect in every way”. Great with Brie and crackers, or just alone. a GREAT way to use up nectarines when they’ve all ripened at the same time and must be eaten within a day or end up getting too soft and yucky.

I’m going to be adding to my recipe stash. I’m really glad the kids ate well today, it totally cancels out the bowls of popcorn mixed with  twizzlers, and sour patch kids we had after dinner during “movie night”….