Anniversary after divorce?

Today, I felt like I was missing something. An appointment? A call to make? What did I forget??

And then, this afternoon I realized it was my anniversary!  Of my first wedding, way ,way, way back when I was TWENTY years old. It would have been twenty years today!

This didn’t make me sad, or angry, or bitter, but actually kind of nostalgic. How much time has gone by since that day, how much I have changed since that day.

wedding96

I love this picture, especially as I get older. I am currently watching my 19 year old navigate life and comparing where she is to what I was doing at her age.

I see this photo and remember how innocent, yet all-knowing I was. How very smart and yet stupid I was. How young I was, and yet-weirdly-how I continue to stay exceptionally young while my MIND alone continues to mature and age…. strange…..

I can’t say I regret this day 20 years ago. I don’t regret being the girl in this photo. Sure, I would have liked to avoid some of the difficulties that came later, but it all brought me to this spot. And that day was a day I will never forget, even if the marriage didn’t last.

Lately, when the oldest is panicking because she can’t figure out how to physically go into the post office and mail a package without hand-holding, I think about what I was doing at her age. Living with my fiancé already, buying our first home with the help of his mother…worrying about paying bills, making enough money, and learning how to grocery shop and planning a wedding.

I’m so GLAD she’s not ready for any of that. I’m not ready for her to be ready for that!! But I’m so thankful for her and her brother, and so also thankful to have had that wedding 20 years ago.

Feels like I should be doing something then, maybe to celebrate? Or acknowledge the date?? How about some low key photo fun, compliments of snapchat……

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Don’t text my kids!

drhurd.com

drhurd.com

When people get married, have kids, get divorced, and then move on to date or marry other people…sometimes things can get messy.

The ex is a bit of a player. He’s been dating the same two women on and off for years, sometimes one at a time, sometimes both together. Sometimes they know, and sometimes they don’t.

My kids don’t know EVERYTHING about his private life, because it’s private. When they aren’t with him, his actions are his own business. I thought.

Until he broke up with the “nice” lady, and blocked her number….in turn driving her crazy and causing her to reach out. TO MY KIDS.

And my 13 year old came down in tears, from her “goodbye” text message that started out so sweet, and ended with “by the way, your dad is dating *name of “bad” lady* again and I know you don’t like her….have a good life”

Can I say that I felt the crazy wake up inside of me???

hellokids.com

hellokids.com

On one hand I feel for this lady, she always did seem to be on the short end of the stick. But, that was a low blow. You don’t use someone’s child to keep the drama alive. I know she must be so hurt, and angry, and not thinking clearly.

But….

Not my kids problem.

So I got her number, and I texted her. Believe it or not, I was not horrible.

But I did tell her to please not contact my kids, and they would be blocking her number.

I’m really proud of myself for being a grown up, because inside I still want to smack her for making my son cry, for manipulating him in order to get back at his father.

Guess what? I got a text back….. a profuse apology and acknowledgment of how awesome my kids are….

Yes. They are awesome. I hope awesome enough to learn from the mistakes of their parents, they sure seem to have more sense than us sometimes.