Manifestation vibration

jayvonspreck.com

jayvonspreck.com

I mentioned before that I am a big reader. I will read pretty much anything, especially if I can download it for free on my kindle.

I came across a catchy tidbit that will teach me the 18 Universal Laws…. to change my life. I haven’t finished it yet, and I hesitate to share it because everyone might run out there and read it to completion, and manifest all sorts of things to make their lives better, depleting the universe of all the greatness that I want for myself. So…..sorry. You’ll have to figure it out on your own.

I will give you a little sneak peek though.

Now remember, I haven’t finished it. I might be missing some powerful information. But so far… if you want love, money, fame, or really ANYTHING, you just have to believe you want it. You deserve it. You expect it.

And then vibrate more.

Oversimplifying? I have no idea!

We all vibrate, you know, on an atomic level. Remember science class, protons, neutrons, electrons… everything has a charge and all those little atoms are literally just vibrating with energy?? I imagine that is the vibrating we are to be thinking about, and we just need to find a way to amp it up. I guess it’s pretty darn irresistible when your atoms are vibrating so much they are just ready to blow apart.

Figure out how to do this. And then just believe that you deserve whatever you want. Because you’re good enough. You’re smart enough. And doggone it, people LIKE you!

theundergroundoutlaw.com

This guy is literally vibrating all over the place…. feel it??? theundergroundoutlaw.com

I mentioned this to my little brother, always game for a good get rich quick idea. Explained the theory-so far-. Gave him the name of the book so he can download it, and maybe one of us will actually finish it so we can change our lives!! We could rule the world!

List of things I will manifest:

1. A full nights sleep

2. Jenna being potty trained

3. My 18 year old body back

4. Oh, money…lots of money!

What would YOU want?

Happy Manifesting!!

stranger danger

taxi-driver.co.uk.com

taxi-driver.co.uk.com

I imagine most parents are a lot like me, wanting their kids to be safe, and make good choices in life. We preach it, we drill it, going over scenarios like “what would you do if a really nice lady came up to you and wanted to show you her adorable new puppy, waiting in her car??” We watch the hesitation on our kids faces….and are ready to yell out the ALWAYS right answer…

“Run away!! Yell for help!” “Don’t touch the puppy!!!”

You would think these lessons, harped on for YEARS, would sink in and kind of, I don’t know…work! Right??

Enter my sister.

She is not a preschooler. She is in fact, a grown up. She is THIRTY.

I happened to call her today on my way home from work. She answers but the connection isn’t great. She tells me she just got to New York on a business trip and is heading to her hotel, wants to call me when she gets there.

I was getting dinner for the kids when she calls back.

Do you know why I couldn’t talk to you before??? I thought I was being kidnapped!

What?!

She tells me the following:

She got to the airport, and was getting her luggage. A nice looking, well dressed man walks up to her and asks her if she will need a taxi. “Well yes!, I actually DO need a taxi!” At that moment, she is probably thinking about how nice New Yorkers really are, not like the rumors at all.

This guy, let’s call him Mystery Cab Man, then asks her to follow him.

She is alone. She follows him. As he walks AWAY from the taxi area… all the way to some service elevator.

She feels a little hesitant, but doesn’t want to be rude, so she follows. Because God forbid, we hurt the feelings of our potential kidnappers, rapists… whatever.

They take the elevator to a parking garage. Much better place for foul play…

She asks, probably timidly, why isn’t he parked with the other taxi drivers? Apparently he has some sort of understanding with the airport and doesn’t have to stand in line with all the other drivers.

By now, she is feeling nervous.

I love this next part… she calls her husband as the guy tells her to wait while he gets the car. She doesn’t run away…in case you know, he’s not really a killer. She calls instead to run it by her husband so he can tell her what to do. But, mystery cab man comes back too fast, so she quickly pretends she’s great, everything is perfect, she’s safe in New York. “Hey honey”, she tells her husband, you know that tracking app I installed on my phone? I installed it on yours too, so you will be able to see where I am in New York at any time!” Very smooth.

There is no way this guy is going sell her into sex slavery or murder her in cold blood now! Jesus, she’s invincible!! He definitely WON’T just throw your phone with the *fake* tracking device in the garbage can before getting rid of you. She’s a genius, that one.

As they drive to her hotel (hopefully), she notices that she is not in a cab. She is in a Mercedes. It’s not yellow.  It’s older, his window doesn’t work. There is no meter. There is no typical taxi stuff inside. She asks then for some identification. He gives her a business card, no photo ID.

This is what a cab looks like....Patty....do you SEE this???

This is what a cab looks like….Patty….do you SEE this???

After some more questions about random things in the city, her way of deciding if he is legit or not, there is silence. She is in the back of his car, pretty sure at this point that he is taking her to some dirty warehouse or a dock somewhere. This is when I call her. She needs to hang up because her phone is almost dead, and she needs to stay on google maps to track his progress.

Because if she notices that he is not going to her hotel, she is in the absolute best position-in his back seat, on the highway-to do something about it.

She is officially waiting for the announcement of impending death. And hoping he won’t kill her because “people know she’s here”.

Well, she made it. Doesn’t even know how much he charged, paid him whatever. Called me when she got to her room,  explained that she really couldn’t talk until she knew for sure she wasn’t going to end up in a ditch.

I marvel at her politeness in the face of being potentially kidnapped. It is really RUDE to tell a strange man who is leading you into an isolated area that you may not want to go. Far better to just go along with it, and hope for the best.

Now, as I alternate between laughing at her lack of judgment and berating her for it, I have a pit in my stomach because she has just demonstrated my worst fear. How am I going to stop my own kids from being taken advantage of when we have all, at times, allowed things to happen that make us uncomfortable or even scared? Because we don’t want to be rude, or cause any commotion…lest we bother someone or hurt their feelings.

So we need to step up our stranger danger games. I’m adding in the mystery cab man scenario. I clearly need to give little sister a refresher course. She will learn. And thank God this time she was lucky, but better safe than sorry. When I’m done with her she won’t be taking rides from any shady drivers, and won’t leave home without her mace and rape whistle.

date night, interrupted.

health.syr.edu

health.syr.edu

So that was pretty funny, planning a date night ahead of time. At least I had the beautiful anticipation of it for a few days…..

And then I got sick. And Sammy got sick.

Between the two of us, there is not much Kleenex left in the house. Noses are red, throats are sore, bodies are aching.

So yesterday I decided we could have date night IN the house. With the kids (thankfully no one is vomiting….yet).

All we needed was sparkling grape juice and BAM, it’s special.

This was my plan this morning. By this afternoon, as my right ear continues to throb and my head feels ready to explode, I am lowering my standards. It’s 10 degrees outside, I just don’t think we can survive that right now.

I am not leaving the house for sparkling grape juice. Yes, this was what I thought we needed to separate us from “normal night”, but now…. I think if I just use fancy glasses….yea, that will do it.

And…. I need to make sure I get hubby to pick up a fancy dinner somewhere, because I am also not cooking for our new revised version of date night. I’m on deaths doorstep here, it’s not a pretty sight.

But we are going to have our fake date night dinner if it kills me. It might.

Just reminds me of why we don’t TALK about things that we really want to happen, it’s like a huge cosmic jinx. As soon as it’s out there, known, that you want to do something, are looking forward to something in particular, you can bet the universe is going to try taking you down a notch.

Usually, it’s the kids getting sick, or hurt. I didn’t see ME getting sick, that was kind of a surprise.

Good job Universe, keeping me on my toes.

Little Miss Nasty

I'm a sassy girl :)

I’m a sassy girl 🙂

So Jenna is officially 2. I think the terrible two’s started about 6 months ago, but according to her dad, it’s closer to 2 years ago……

She’s hilarious. And she’s nasty. Really nasty. Oh, wait. Sassy…. she’s sassy. Sounds so much better, right?

Now, in her defense, I will say if people didn’t just assume she wanted them to talk to her, or touch her, things would go much better for everyone. I guess in her 2 year old mind, she may wonder why it’s ok for someone to just walk up and start pawing at her, when as adults, we would never tolerate that kind of behavior from someone.

So this is a typical scenario: We go somewhere, or someone comes over to visit. Jenna is freaking adorable as most 2 year olds are….. and people just can’t help coming to try talking to her, or touching one of her little pig tails jutting out from the top of her head.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!!!”

She shouts in her little smoker-voice. Her scowl is THE BEST. She is SO offended. So everyone laughs…….. and then someone else tries to see what happens.

“DON’T TOUCH MY HAIR!!”

Laughter all around. Permanent scowl on her face. A few more tries, with the same result from touching her arm, her shirt, her hair again. She doesn’t cry, she just yells at everyone. And swats. She will swat at you eventually if you keep trying to make contact.

Her most common one-liners include:

“It’s not funny!”

“Go away!”

“I want Paw Patrol!”

“You are a bad boy!” (of course, because it is not possible for girls to be bad)

The beginning of a scowl. You may wonder if she wants to cut you.....

The beginning of a scowl. You may wonder if she wants to cut you…..

Her father has given up. One look at her these days and she is telling him off. This is because he loves, LOVES to tease her. He will grab her, kiss her repeatedly, pick her up and swing her around. All the while she is screaming at him to stop, put her down, leave her alone!! Once away from him, she gives her best scathing glare, making sure he sees her doing it.

On the other hand, she is often beyond polite. She apologizes to you if you knock her down, “Oh, sorry!”. She asks so nicely for me to put Paw patrol on my kindle before she sits on the potty so she can watch it while waiting forever to pee. “Oh, thank you, Mommy!” She plays grocery store with me and always gives me the best deal on produce, I can use all the expired coupons I want, and she never remembers to swipe my credit card. She randomly expresses her love for me, and tells me she’s MY angel.

cute2scowl2

She has the CUTEST smile.

I like my nasty baby. She’s amazingly smart, and I would like to say just very,very discerning with whom she associates. Like, it’s pretty much just me right now. I’m cool with that.

Double kiss vs awkward hug

wikihow.com

wikihow.com

When you greet people, or say goodbye to them…. do you hug them? Kiss them? Both?  Do you have those awkward moments of hesitation, not sure if you should transition to a kiss from a one-armed hug, only to find yourself kissing that person on the neck, the ear…or worse, right smack on the lips?! Then just pretend it didn’t happen. “We’re cool…..”

I have this problem.

Really wasn’t too bad until I introduced a whole other culture into my circle of friends and family. With my husbands family, it’s natural and even expected to kiss each cheek hello and goodbye. It took me by surprise at first, but by now it’s second nature. Or even first nature, because I’m so used to doing it, I start to double kiss my friends and my own family who have no idea what I’m doing to them.

Then I sometimes just want to hug someone hello, one of the double kiss people… and I find myself kind of holding them in place against my body, perhaps against their will because I’ve committed to the hello hug, and I feel like a double kiss on top of that is just a little too much lovin’. I let go when they stop struggling.

I sometimes think about this ahead of time, and it makes it that much worse for me when it comes time to greet people… I find myself panicking and trying to follow their lead and just turn my head accordingly. Some of the double kiss people just try to hug me out of courtesy for me, and this often happens when I’m trying to just kiss them, out of courtesy to them.

Feels like that really awkward teenage groping all over again, except without the raging hormones. So it’s just embarrassing.

I really thought I was alone with these thoughts….then I talked to my sister today.

We had Jenna’s big birthday party yesterday, she was 2!!  We had a nice multi-cultural group of people, who for the most part are not in danger of being hugged or kissed by anyone outside of their comfort zones. But my sister is like a little sister to my husband too, and she has met his family on enough occasions to warrant some sort of embrace at the end of the day.

She saw my husband talking to his cousin, and wanted to say goodbye, but was literally stumped because she didn’t know if she should also hug that guy…or should she kiss him? Is she allowed to kiss him? One cheek, both cheeks??

It was too stressful, so she completely avoided the whole thing and snuck out, only to call me today and confess her own awkwardness.

I love my sister. When I see her on Christmas, I’m going to double kiss AND hug her.

Best book ever

We try to read as many nights as possible to the kids. Some books I absolutely hate, I dread when they get picked, I try to coerce the kids into picking something I like instead. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

The best thing ever, is when we all love the same book. I never get tired of reading a few…and even Jenna has some of our “David” books memorized from all of our potty reading lately.

I recently read a blog post, another mom giving a critique of her kids reading material….something she does weekly.

Well, I am certainly not motivated to commit to a weekly, or even monthly book review, but reading her post made me realize something.

I must share. I own the most perfect book ever written.

No. It’s not 50 shades of anything.

s

Yes!!!  It’s 4 pups and a worm!

It has all aspects of a great kids story. Friends, enterprising friends who start a business together to use their talents helping those less fortunate. Those with broken lawn mowers, those who need zippers zipped, those who need to borrow frogs.

Just call 4 pups and a worm! THEY LEND FROGS.

see?!

see?!

After the pups and Sherm (the worm) introduce themselves and their numerous talents, we get further details of their greatness as we follow the group on an adventure to save Bernice Bee. She got stuck up in a flower. True story.

damsel in distress

damsel in distress

The guys are up to the task, and get Bernice down in 7 minutes!! Then of course they refuse the wads of money she offers for payment, choosing instead to have some of her delicious honey. What a great team! Now, you have to be careful, there are plenty of knock off groups trying to get in on the action. Don’t worry, the pups will tell you ahead of time who to watch out for…..

Imposters

Imposters

Just a gentle reminder of who can deliver the goods, and who just wishes they could….

I love the cheesy way this book rhymes, I can’t stop myself from sing-songing my way through it. The kids love participating, and it doesn’t take long for them to catch on to the rhyming, and learn to fill in the last word so they can finish my sentences…..

“If you need a bubble bath and are down to your last bubble–

call 4 Pups and a Worm. (Delivering bubbles is no…..(and this is where everyone joins in) TROUBLE!)

I don’t tire of this book. It’s amazingly simple yet captivating. Check it out 🙂

ttt

 

Noise pollution

On any given day…. for any variety of reasons, or maybe for no reason…. you will hear a sound in my house.

It’s a horrible whiny, screechy noise. It can last and last depending on what started it. It makes my ears want to bleed.

It’s Sammy.

I’ve been told this is normal for his age. A completely normal part of development.

Lately it has been happening when his baby sister decides to take something of his, or he wants to take something of hers and she won’t let go. It happens when his brother doesn’t want to play with him right now. It happens when he doesn’t want his dinner, when he doesn’t want to wear an undershirt, when he doesn’t want mom to retain her sanity much longer…

You can’t reason with it. I’ve tried.

Some days, I swear the only noise he makes is a whine. He can speak in a whine, I think sometimes he actually forgets what his voice is supposed to sound like, I know I have. The older kids get fed up, and tell him he’s a baby. Then he comes crying to me, like a baby, telling me that they called him a baby.

How ironic, he is, at this very moment sitting on my knee…..crying/whining as he tells me that Jacob told him he’s a baby. I’m choosing to pretend I can’t hear him. Sometimes I tell him I can’t hear that whiny noise…I am only capable of hearing normal speech.

Conversely, his sister is almost two. She does not whine and rarely cries. She usually tries to comfort him when he is having his mini meltdowns during the day, much to his displeasure. She’ll pat him on the head, “It’s ok Sammy”.  This usually makes him cry/whine more about people touching him.

Today, playing number flashcards….. his older brother said “11” before he did. This is what happened:

The master of distress

The master of distress

We had to put the card back, and let Sammy say the number first….Amazingly his smile came right back!!

Over time, you can develop a good ear for the real cry over the fake cry. Sometimes, during a good fake cry/whine session, I will take photos to admire my sweet cry-baby, and keep them to share with him or future girlfriends when he is older. I think taking a picture is much healthier than yelling at him or rashly putting a plastic bag over my head to stop the noise. Being able to laugh at the situation, is often a saving grace. And sarcasm. Sarcasm helps a whole lot.

photoff

I know it looks serious. He is a great crier, especially when he fakes an injury and can continue crying about it for 30 minutes straight because he is secretly mad that he doesn’t have a REAL injury…

This too, shall pass. Right? Right??!!

Shiv vs Shank?

from therebelprepper.com

from therebelprepper.com

We were all in the car together, the two youngest focused on their Leap pads and the two oldest just…..talking with me. At some point, a joking comment was made about “shanking” someone.

“I wonder what’s the difference between shank and shiv?, do you guys know?”

17 year old seems to think they are the same thing….something sharp you use in prison to cut people with….right?

It seems like there must be a difference, to be called different names.

13 year old asks Siri. Gets directed to some web page, I don’t know what it was, I was driving as he read us the definitions.

We are informed that a shank is something you generally carve into something sharp to stab with, it’s one piece. Whereas a shiv is made out of objects you put together to form a sharp weapon, like taping your razor blade to a comb.

Then we discuss what would be better, carving a shank out of your toothbrush, or maybe a broom handle (yea, that’s a good one!) or making a shiv. Seems to me that making a shiv is a bit less work, somehow not as respectable as taking the time to carve a good shank. Then some healthy speculation about what objects you could get your hands on to make said weapons.

We wondered briefly if it was odd for us to be having this conversation…..but tempered it with the joy of learning something new.

 Apparently, my children and I are not the only people in the world to have this burning question…. and there is some controversy among those who choose to offer enlightenment. Check out an extended discussion here: http://stuffijustlearned.blogspot.com/2010/11/shiv-vs-shank.html…..if you too want to make sure you use your prison terms appropriately. Here was a good comparison given by someone:

AnonymousDecember 23, 2013 at 12:00 PM

  1. Actually, a shiv is a homemade weapon that has a BLADE and can be used for CUTTING. A shank is a homemade weapon that does NOT have a blade but has a pointed tip and can be used for STABBING but not cutting.

Really cleared it up for me.

Best Christmas gifts ever

It’s that time again…..

Walking into Target today, I see a row of Reindeer racing across the ceiling, Santa jolly in his sleigh behind them.

I’ve gotten the “Big Toy Book” in the mail, Sammy has been keeping it with him for the past few days.

I have been that parent who buys everything I can, because I need more, more, MORE boxes for them to open. That parent who, when finished wrapping the gazillion presents, suddenly feels there isn’t enough, and so dashes out for some more. I most likely will continue to be that parent, because I am weak.

BUT…..

I have insight into my weakness, and I think that must count for something. So, if you are stronger than me, do yourself a favor and read below for truly, the best gifts you can ever give your kids. Things they actually DO play with.

1. Money.

I should probably have prefaced by saying this list is really for kids under 6…. we can possibly stretch a bit beyond that, but my older kids would definitely not appreciate money in the way I am going to suggest giving it. I am not talking about any form of paper or plastic money. I am talking about coins. lots and lots of coins.

My kids have all had a healthy fascination with money, in coin form, as little ones. Jake used to hide coins all over the house, he amassed a small fortune before the age of 10 just from the change he would slip off the counters, and sometimes out of my purse. Sammy has probably 5 different banks, and he divides up his coins, mixed with all of his fake pirate gold pieces, into these banks, as well as various buckets, Tupperware containers, and really anything hollow around the house. Jenna has lately refused to go up to bed without holding her blankets, her pink unicorn, and money. She needs change, preferably silver, at least two pieces in hand. If I walk past a dresser carrying her, she will scream at me to go back for the money if she sees any laying around.

so, a pile of coins. A couple buckets. Good to go.

The shark bank Sammy made, with his digital counting bank, and the most annoying ever football bank that yells "Touchdown" EVERY time you put a coin in.

The shark bank Sammy made, with his digital counting bank, and the most annoying ever football bank that yells “Touchdown” EVERY time you put a coin in.

Coins....they are EVERYWHERE

Coins….they are EVERYWHERE

2. A box.

Big enough to hide in, and preferably with a mile of bubble wrap inside. Even the 13 year old gets excited when mom starts getting boxes from Amazon, they ALL love bubble wrap. Keep whatever was IN the box for yourself.

3. Little plastic pieces of crap.

Just sift through the bottom of your existing toy box. Grab the tiny Lego’s, Barbie shoes, and all of those little pieces that go to…something, something that will never be put together again. Stick them in a cute little box. You will be a hero. Now, you can take this up a level….do what I did one year and purchase about 300 tiny pink organza drawstring bags from Amazon without reading the actual size or where they are coming from (overseas). Get them, realize they are way too small for party favors, not to mention weeks late for the party….and give them to your 4-ish year old. Mega hit.

I have little pink organza bags filled with little pieces of plastic crap hidden all over my house. When he ran out of his own crap, he asked for some of mine. I am still finding these bags with all sorts of interesting surprises inside. (gummy snacks, plastic fish, disassembled watch…) It has been 1 year, and they have not gotten old. I throw away what I can, but there were 300….it will take a while.

b

4. Post it’s.

Assorted sizes in rainbow colors. This appeals to little ones, they love to write on each and every piece of paper, and stick them all over. I was looking in all the little containers we have in the house to find hidden coins, and stumbled across this gold mine. Recently, Sammy was my waiter, and was kind enough to take my order entirely on post-it notes, one for each item I wanted. He must have saved them because he wants to remember all my favorite foods. 🙂

b1

5. Measuring Cups and Spatulas.

b5

There is one drawer in my kitchen that no longer belongs to me. It has been commandeered by the young ones. From the days of sitting up and not crawling yet, to a rambunctious preschooler…that drawer has had a magical pull for the kids. They love to pretend, they “cook”, they decorate with utensils and cookware, and fill up measuring cups with money and little pieces of plastic crap.

I have toys that are not played with, toys that have never BEEN played with, toys that are more interesting to the kids when broken into pieces that will fit into a tiny pink organza drawstring bag…

So although I fully intend to waste more money this year, I will do so with a heavy heart. I already know that anything I buy will not hold a candle to the treasure trove of junk in my home that keeps the kids consistently busy day after day, and probably in total costs less than $100 to replace.

Oh, get here fast Halloween!!

A serious and sobering look into the mind of a mom who opened a 5# bag of candy….3 days before “the day”.

kk

Day 1

Walk into pantry. Time on my hands. Bag is just sitting there. I grab it…of course I open it. I play that game with myself where I pretend to have will power, and then get mad when I realize I don’t, not even a little. A mouthful of M&M’s is somewhat comforting though.

Day 1, later….

Shit.

Why do I keep blindly reaching in and finding the Snickers? They are all going to be gone and everyone will know I ate them. But I agree, they really DO satisfy you!

Day 2

17 year old calls me out for opening the bag. I pretend very convincingly that I had NO IDEA!! Was that bag opened at the seam when I bought it?! Can you believe that??  She does not buy it. I throw a candy bar at her, making her an accomplice so she will shut up.

Thank God I worked today, because the 15 mini Kit Kat bars I ate tonight could have easily been 50 if I’d had a whole day to work at it…. I think I now like Kit Kat better than Twix. Somehow, they seem more refreshing, and almost healthier.

Evening of Day 2.

Get here fast, Halloween!!!  I hate myself and I hate my weakness! Thank goodness the weather is going to suck for trick or treating, because I know I would just end up eating all the candy the little ones collect to save them from obesity and diabetes…but who is going to save ME from this delicious bag of sin???

Still later that evening…

It’s amazing that I’m not sick to my stomach. I don’t want to know how many empty calories I’ve consumed. No point in working out ever again, I’m too far gone. Am I this weak??, Really??

Yes. Yes I am.