Guys aren’t strangers

Posted on May 25, 2015 by momsranting

come on in guys!

I came across a post recently that reminded me of how precarious our kids understanding of things like safety, danger, and strangers can be. You can find the post I’m talking about here. Go check it out, I’ll wait……..

Now, how do you think your kids would act in a stranger simulation???

I started talking about “stranger danger” as early as possible with the kids. It is one of those lurking fears we mothers have…

Right now, Sammy is 5, and we’ve been tossing scenarios back and forth with him for years now. We’ve talked about how his body is HIS body, and no one is allowed to touch it. We talk about strangers, and even people who aren’t strangers possibly making him feel uncomfortable. Always harping on the basics….

What do you do if someone tries to grab you?

His answer usually includes some form of ninja death chop….but then he remembers that he should really run away, screaming for help.

What do you do if someone DOES grab you?

Scream more, kick, bite, cry-loudly-, fight and struggle!!!

What do you do if a really nice little lady comes by to show you her cute puppy?

Run away. NEVER TOUCH THE PUPPY.

Even scenarios with neighbors or friends… if it doesn’t feel right…. it’s ok to NOT do it, and TELL TELL TELL!!!!!

We talk about it a LOT.

So… with that in mind……….

One day about 3 months ago, I was upstairs with the youngest. Sammy is downstairs, and the doorbell rings.

(I don’t hear it)

I happen to come downstairs right after, and find two young men standing in my foyer. Sammy had let them in.

Thankfully, they were not killers. (as far as I know)

Once they left, I didn’t yell at Sammy. I sat him down, and started talking about strangers. Why it could have been VERY dangerous to let those guys in. Why he should NEVER answer the door (which he already knew…I thought).

He listened to my impassioned lecture, letting me calm down before he responds.

“But mom, they weren’t strangers….. they were GUYS!”

Uh….

elevenwarriors.com

What I hate about parenting…..potty training :(

Posted on May 18, 2015 by momsranting

Potty training.

Have I mentioned this? Yes, once or twice.

I am stuck right now, obsessively fixated on potty training, SURE that I am screwing up my 2 year old beyond repair. I hear people say things like “just don’t worry, your child will TELL YOU when they are ready to use the potty”. But I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it will happen without mental agony on my part. This is the only way I know how to do anything….is with a healthy dose of psychological pain. It’s my process.

Jenna herself seems fine. She actually goes several days without having an accident. This is because I take her potty often. And catch her trying to hide when she wants to poop. Then it’s all good natured fun “Oh mom, you caught me again!” Jolly laughs on the way to the potty.

If she happens to wet herself, she tells me-probably during the act-that she has to go potty. Then we go to the bathroom, find that her pants are wet, and it’s big eyes all around, “how did THAT happen???!”

Can I just say that she USED to tell me before she had to pee. Like, a year ago. And I don’t know why that doesn’t happen now.

So I worry about it. Worry that I’m screwing up, that I’m not getting it right. I MUST be doing something wrong… right??

Yesterday, I tried to just let her tell me when she had to pee. We have been wearing cloth training pants with a diaper cover. Diaper cover is NOT water proof, as I came to find out.

I asked her a lot if she needed to pee. “Nope!” is her gleeful reply.

Then she pees herself, and decides to tell me she needs to pee. No big deal, accidents are a necessary part of training. I know this.

Later, I take the kids grocery shopping. She had just peed, I gave myself a good hour to get there and back. Kept her in the cloth pants, because I don’t want to confuse her.

We were on our way to the register, cart FULL.

“Mommy, I have to go potty”. Which means, I just peed. I picked her up, and saturated my shirt. Huh… guess there is really no point to diaper covers.

We get home, wash her, she takes a nap.

Upon waking, Jenna decides she hates everything in the world, and refuses to do anything she is asked. I don’t want to push her, so once her tantrum started-after I took off her pants to use the potty- I just walked out of the bathroom to let her calm down, or follow me, thinking when the urge hits, she would go sit on the potty.

I hear this noise…Sammy is standing next to me. He knows what it is before I do.

“Mom, Jenna is peeing on the floor.”

Sure enough, she is standing there, peeing on the floor. (the floor I just washed, of course) By the way, there are TWO little potties in there, one on either side of her. I really think she was making a statement. A statement of my supreme failure.

Don’t ever Google anything about potty training. Every mom has a story, either horrific (My adorable 7 year old little Charlie is just so stubborn, we still can’t get him to use the potty!!), or depressing to the rest of us loser moms (My triplets were all potty trained at 6 months. Right after they learned how to knit and speak Japanese. They each have a different dialect, it’s so cute!)

Today, it was back to just taking her potty when I thought she might need to go. No accidents….but I know she’s not the one being trained here…

Funny little things

Posted on May 15, 2015 by momsranting

Yesterday my oldest turned 18. I’ll save my emotions about that event for another blog.

Instead, I want to mention something kind of funny, sweet, unexpected.

I went to get her cake at a local grocery store, they have a GREAT fudge torte. Mmmmmmmmm, fudge torte……….

Anyway, this young kid was behind the cake counter, complete with hair net and goofy smile. He was probably around my daughters age, and seemed so comfortable with himself. And happy, the guy seemed really, really happy. Happy to help us and happy to tell me that he was NOT a professional cake decorator, but he would give it his best shot if I wanted him to write something on it.

“Can you write Happy Birthday?”

He wants to scratch his head, I can tell… he looks at the cake, concentrating.

“Ummmmm, I can maybe write Happy B-day?” He says this like an apology, and a question.

“How about just putting her name on it, R-A-C-H-E-L.”

This seems like a good compromise.

He gets to work, and I can tell he’s new at this job…it takes him a while to get the cake out of the display, to find the boxes, and the icing.

And he takes a while. I’m waiting, vaguely wondering how long it takes to write those 6 letters, but grateful that I left the 2 year old at home. So I relax, and wait.

He comes back over, wants to make sure of the spelling. Nods emphatically, and turns his back to me, and continues his work. I notice that he needs a hair cut, because I’m a mom.

Finally, he is done.

He comes over, cake in hand-but above my line of vision. He stands and smiles at me, ready to make a speech.

“To make up for not being able to write out ‘Happy Birthday’, I did a little art work for you instead”

His voice SOUNDS like a smiley face. And with a flourish, he presents me with….. the cake.

it’s an original.

He had doodled on our cake. And he was completely adorable, and so proud of himself. It made our fancy fudge torte into something so much more. He infused it with his sweet goofiness. I wanted to hug him, but thanked him instead.

And everyone loved it.

Easy Bake takes over the world

Posted on May 4, 2015 by momsranting

I recently had the pleasure of rekindling an old love affair…. with easy bake oven.

We gave one away as a gift, with a couple amazing looking cake and cookie mixes. (red velvet cake!!) Things sure have changed since my easy bake days…. for some reasons I only recall toasting pumpkin seeds in mine….

Sammy and I decided to get our own oven right away, so we could start creating fantastic culinary delights in mere minutes for everyone at home. We looked at the mixes next…. and made a solid choice of cheese pizza snacks and chocolate whoopee pies. BONUS, the oven also came with chocolate chip cookie mix.

Last night, we took out the easy bake and made magic happen.

: This was better than Christmas

sweeeeet

So we got right to baking. First up, mini cheese pizza bites. The box has little envelope of powder for everything, dough, marinara sauce, cheese sauce, even an egg glaze?! Just add water and stir, we all fought over who got to stir first.

: itty bitty pizza dough

: then add the sauce..

squirt on some ?real? cheese…

it was crappy. but THEY loved it.

We finished last night with chocolate chip cookie. Bites. Because finished, they are the size of a piece of cookie crisp cereal.

mix it up Jenna!

ready to bake!

it’s amazing!!

pretty damn tasty!

We save the challenge for today. Chocolate whoopee pies. It seemed pretty simple, until you have to mess with the dough. I could not take pictures because I had chocolate dough all over my hands. Sticky doesn’t even begin to cover it. I used flour, it was still impossible to get a perfect round ball on that baking sheet. No 8 year old could ever do this alone.

The box. Notice how individual results may vary….

tag team mixing

adding the filling-after washing my hands!

our finished pies. Yummmm 🙂

This is way too fun for just kids. It still feels like magic!! Why don’t more therapists incorporate the use of easy bake oven when working with clients? You can’t possibly feel like there is no point in living once you’ve discovered the possibilities….

Guys… Our next challenge.

Squeezing in together time

Posted on April 15, 2015 by momsranting

It’s here people….. ice cream time is here!! To be very honest, the ice cream place by our house is open all year (yay!), but we generally don’t walk up there until all the snow is melted. Takes a while in Ohio….

Yesterday, was the first trip. ALL 4 kids came with me, none able to withstand the lure of blue cosmo, cookies n cream, or that peanut butter banana smoothie. I love…. LOVE when I can get the 4 of them to go somewhere with me. Especially because now, the clock is ticking. The oldest is counting down the days until she flies the coop for college, having them all together after that is going to be a lot less frequent.

So in honor of our togetherness, I ~~forced~~ encouraged them to smile at the camera as I tried to snap some candid moments around the ice cream table.

They are THRILLED

Most of the time, these are not amazing pictures. It is impossible to get them all to look at me, or smile, at the same time…or at all sometimes. But I keep them, because I am that emotional mom who likes to think back and start crying sometimes when I reflect on how much each child has grown/changed over the years….. I think they like it when I cry….

I am also that embarrassing mom who likes to save these pictures, and them bring them out and show everyone how much they’ve grown or changed since last year, or years ago.

For example, I just so happened to remember that just last year…. we were sitting around a table at this very same ice cream place, and I also ~~made them~~ asked them to smile nicely for the camera…

last year

Isn’t that so cute!!! Can you believe Jenna FINALLY has hair? Can you believe how long her tongue was/is??

People, I live for this stuff. It’s what I do.

: Christmas then…..

Christmas now!

See what I did there??

I know one day, I’m going to miss having all these kids under my roof. (I keep telling myself this….) So I do my best to keep a record of the times they actually LOOK like they are getting along, as they grow up, and before they grow away.

sniffle.

Birthday Parties stop crime

Posted on April 10, 2015 by momsranting

My version of hell

So Sammy turns 5 tomorrow.

Of course we are planning ANOTHER unforgettable, amazing party to celebrate. And every year I say I’m not going to do this again, and EVERY year I cave…. because I am weak. And I want my kids to love me. And not having a birthday party might cause some damage that could contribute to poor choices later in life.

“I (insert crime) because my parents didn’t value me enough to have birthday parties for me as a child. So I continue to act out…..”

So in my efforts to keep the kids wholesome, and positive contributors to society… I have ridiculous parties that become so stressful that I swear never to do it again. Until the next time.

Because Charles Manson probably didn’t have any birthday parties as a kid…….just sayin’

Pee Nazi’s

Posted on April 6, 2015 by momsranting

from the book: Potty, by Leslie Patricelli

Usually when I ask Sammy about school, he isn’t very forthcoming with his answers. Probably because my questions are boring and predictable.

What did you do today? Nothing. Did you have fun today? Yes. Did you learn anything new today? No.

When I’m not badgering him, he will sometimes just open up on his own and tell me all sorts of interesting things.

Like how his teachers might be Pee Nazi’s.

It started with him talking about nap time at school. He takes his naps seriously, and was complaining about some of the other kids who wanted to talk and play instead of napping, ruining the quiet time for everyone else. As he went on, he also brought up how rude one little girl is, for always wanting to use the potty at nap time. The teachers want her to wait until they all get up, so the girl cries.

This got my attention. If there is one thing I can’t stand, it’s not letting kids pee. I’ve blogged about this before.

I immediately speak up for the little girl. “Sammy, if she needs to pee, they should let her pee.”

He looks at me. Obviously he knows better.

“Mom, they want us to pee after nap. I pee after nap. If I have to pee before nap, I just hold it. We need to practice holding it.”

We go back and forth. Me explaining that sometimes you NEED to pee, and it doesn’t matter if you’re napping, or eating lunch, or playing. I’m trying to reassure him, that if he is in that situation, it’s OK to pee!

He thinks I’m stupid.

The way he responds to me… he’s being patient because he has come to the conclusion that poor mom just doesn’t get it.

We don’t pee the same way you did back in the day…… now we HOLD it. duh.

How do I complain about something that he seems to have no problem with?

“Um, yes…. my son apparently has no trouble waiting until after naptime to pee, even if he actually has to pee while he is laying there on his little cot….in fact, he seems to think I’m a little slow for not understanding that nap time is not PEE time…but can you please let that poor little girl pee??”

I still try to explain to him that no matter how impressive his bladder control might be….. sometimes you just need to go. Like now. And if he ever, EVER needs to pee, and he is told no….. he is still allowed to go, and mommy will talk to the teachers.

I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe me, because he is well and truly brainwashed by the pee Nazi’s.

Poop talk

Posted on March 1, 2015 by momsranting

Let’s talk about poop.

You don’t want to talk about it?

That’s ALL I seem to talk about these days. Not one day goes by without mention of poop. So you can leave now, or just hear me out.

I think about poop a lot, as I’m working on potty training the 2 year old. Sometimes we have conversations that go like this:

Jenna: Mommy, I pooped! It’s so cute!!
Me: No, Jenna. It’s not cute when it’s in your pants. It’s only cute when it’s on the potty.
Jenna: Blank stare.

Followed by another day:

Jenna (on the potty): I pooped!! It’s not cute. (sad face)
Me: No Jenna… it’s soooo cute!!! Poop is adorable on the potty, we love poop on the potty!

We flush the poop. Wave bye-bye. She yells down the toilet “Have fun with your friends!!”. Because in our world, poop and pee can’t wait to get out and into the potty, where they can be flushed to catch up with their family and friends having a big poopy party.

I was organizing books today, and noticed our large selection of potty training books. One of their favorites??

Where’s the poop?
by: Julie Markes

Where’s the poop indeed.

A cute take on showing little ones that EVERYONE poops. Even wild animals like elephants, kangaroos, tigers and monkeys.

One of Jenna’s favorites? Baby penguin.

The parent animals are always very attentive to the whole poopy business…

Nope, I pooped behind that rock. Now go find it!!

It’s a pop up book, but here’s a hint for parents… the poop is always hiding in the lower left corner. wink.

Of course. It has to be tied in to humans at the end, or there is a real chance we could be teaching our kids to just go poop behind whatever they want. Cover it up, and let us find it. Fun!!

Here is the little boy, proudly telling his mom about his own poop.

Where is it?? Where is that poop? Jenna knows!!

: 🙂

Anyway…. that’s what we do around here. Pretty much every day. In case you were wondering.

My holding advice

Posted on February 21, 2015 by momsranting

Talking to my future sister-in-law today, as she frets about how her 1 month old suddenly wants to be held all the time. He cries when she puts him down. Won’t stay in his own bed all night. Won’t nap for long without waking unless he is being held. Wants to be held. All. The. Time.

So she asks me for advice.

Is she kidding????
courtesy of: Pixshark.com

I may not be the best person to ask, seeing as how I have not been successful in forcing independence on my own children…. but I guess desperation makes people, well, desperate.

So I told her what I could.

Mostly about how Sammy did the same thing. I held him constantly, and when I did attempt to put his cute little baby head down for a nap, he was up within 15 minutes and looking for those comfy arms again. Some days, I would just give up trying to let him sleep alone. I gave up and watched a damn movie that he would sleep “like a baby” through, as long as I kept holding him.

We talked about baby-wearing, which is supposed to raise more independent and confident children in the long run.

The whole family tried baby wearing

So this was a way to hold the baby without having to hold the baby. Theoretically, you can get a lot of stuff done since your hands are free. I was too nervous, and still kept a hand on the baby. Plus, I probably didn’t try using the wrap enough to get comfortable with it. Once I had it on, it felt stifling to me. Trying to get the baby out fast when she started to cry was a little difficult, as was shimmying my way out of it if I didn’t want to try untying it first. I got my first wrap with Sammy, and remember one day trying to cut the grass on a muggy summer evening. I was in “super mom” mode, determined to do all the things I was doing before having the baby.

My initial confidence waned as each pass over the lawn (with my electric, NOT self-propelled mower) resulted in a hotter, sweatier me…. and a decidedly droopy baby in the carrier. He started out with head right under my chin…and ended nestled in my chest, as the material stretched and bounced with each plodding step. I envisioned him eventually dangling somewhere around the knees, swaying and being bumped along as I walked.

I saw other moms breezing through the grocery story, the park, life in general…with a smiling baby tucked inside their sling or wrap. I was jealous of these perfect moms, who could wear their babies so effortlessly.

smug much??
amazon.com

So, I just held mine. A lot. I still do.

All I can really say is that eventually. EVENTUALLY….they don’t want to be held so much. I doubt I could get my 17 year old on my hip anymore…although she was the one who broke it in for the others.

As for the sleeping alone bit…. I’m definitely not qualified to give advice on this. I share a pillow with one or two other people most nights. All I can say is, who WOULDN’T want someone nice and warm to cuddle with?? And if all else fails, and you need to try doing something else besides holding your little one during their nap, try letting someone else sleep with them!! 🙂

Hell nights

Posted on February 14, 2015 by momsranting

thisiswhyimbroke.com

If I was given one wish right now, I might wish for Jenna to sleep at night. I am desperate for it.

We are back in a cycle of night waking, crying, wanting to go downstairs, then walk over there….then over THERE… all the while pointing and crying relentlessly if I don’t comply. There is really NOTHING over THERE. She just doesn’t want to be HERE, wherever we are at the time.

I feel very close to that kind of tired that comes with having a newborn. The kind of tired that has you noticing the sunny day around you, yet not feeling the brightness penetrating the gray haze you are trapped in. The kind of tired that might contribute to falling asleep at the wheel and driving into a light pole on the way home from work. Ahem. Anyway….

It’s really…. Annoying.

I asked my husband the other day, “Can you imagine how much better life would be if we actually slept a night through? All the way through??”

I might have seen a tear in his eye…. and I think it was probably just too painful for him to contemplate. So he didn’t.

It’s not always this bad. Jenna has cycles of horrible sleep, followed by cycles of ok sleep. But no cycles of great sleep. Not yet.

I have been told we are at fault because we all share a room. Also, because I have held her too much. Also, that she is manipulative….VERY manipulative. The upside of this would be that she is also very intelligent.

I am going to say that I doubt all children who share rooms are bad sleepers. I also doubt I have spoiled her into this behavior. I also don’t believe she is manipulating me. She is not evil. Well, I am saying this now, but in a few hours I will absolutely agree that she is the most evil child in the world because I will be exhausted and she will be tossing and turning, wanting a drink of water, wanting to go potty, wanting to go downstairs, wanting to watch Paw Patrol on my computer, and then ONLY sleeping when she is lying directly on top of me, clinging like an octopus.

I have Googled the hell out of this phenomenon.

Learning about things like sleep regression, and “wonder leaps”… all good excuses for your kid to sleep like crap. Can’t blame it on teething anymore…she’s done.

I suppose it helps to know there are other parents with similar issues. I love the advice: Cry it out. DON’T cry it out! Hold them. Don’t hold them! Lock them in their own padded room. Let them sleep in your bed. Melatonin. Sleep therapy. Lobotomy. (just kidding, I made up that last one. Pretty sure no ones tried that yet)

lobotomy free!!

I am telling myself it will be so much better by age 3. Sammy was up a lot too until then. One more year.

(determined look on face, followed by huge yawn).

momsranting

My place to talk about my family, my life, and maybe some other stuff too

Category Archives: kids