temptation and motivation

sometimes, your gummy vitamins just aren’t enough to tame the cravings. When I find myself considering self harm because I’m dying for junk food… I tend to give in.

So I got this cute little mini muffin pan and decided to make some chocolate chip something or other cookie cups to tame the inner beast. I ended up making these peanut butter chocolate chip cookie cups that only took about 20 minutes to make.

cookie

YUM. Recipe from averiecooks.com

They totally satisfied ­čÖé

Of course, I felt like I could give in to temptation today because I’ve been working out more. Partly because the two younger ones have been really into it, and frequently harass me into working out with them.

We all have to put on matching tank tops, or Sammy goes topless to showcase his guns….

And they actually work out with me.

cookie2

ah yes, our 10 minute bootie blast……

cookie1

the pilates “100”

cookie3

king of pilates

probably I would have a more effective workout if I would just focus on sucking my belly button into my spine instead of snapping photos and forgetting to breathe…. I’ll figure it out….

 

 

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Meh.

Diet-cat

bluestmuse.com

For the past week, I’ve been walking around with aching muscles. I’ve been packing things like crunchy granola bars and fresh fruit to eat at work.

I’ve been working out, even though on one occasion the 5 year old had to shame me into it.

I have drastically scaled down my junk food snacking, depending on not just my gummy vitamin D’s, but gummy fish oil and gummy probiotics to pick up the slack.

Today…. Sammy and Jenna wanted pizza for dinner, he missed pizza day at school this week.

I ordered it…

then I worked out while I starved and watched them stuffing the greasy cheese pizza into their faces (with sides of fresh fruit and veggies). I did two workouts.

I then piled a plate with salad, got a glass of water, and ONE piece of pizza.

Normally I would have downed 2 or 3 pieces, NOT worked out, and chewed the pizza with mouthfuls of sprite or iced tea squishing together in blissful harmony before swallowing. I don’t drink much soda, but I find with pizza, it is the drink of choice for me. I love the interaction between carbonation and greasy crust…. fizzy, squishy, greasy goodness.

I did have a fleeting moment of what might have been real motivation to improve my┬álifestyle and health┬álast week, but it didn’t last beyond a 30 second sense of supreme optimism.

I have since gotten very familiar with this feeling of…Meh. Basically mad at pizza for being bad for me, mad at chocolate for making me want it, mad at myself for being mad about wanting to be healthy, and forcing myself to do it anyway. I’m so MEAN.

I can’t wait until I’m 72. I’ve decided that is the age I will decide enough of this crap, and enjoy ho-ho’s and peppermint patties all day long if I want.

 

I don’t want to succeed

junk

courtesy of superhealthykids.com

This week, I had a plan.

Eat healthy, get back to working out every day.

I’m sabotaging myself, and not feeling guilty enough about it yet.

What do burger king onion rings, chocolate peanut butter brownies, skittles, Starbucks beverages, peppermint patties, and lots of chocolate ice cream have in common???

Equal contribution to my failure and gluttonous satisfaction.

And so, tomorrow…. probably…. I will do better.